“New Year, New Me”
Although I’m quite sure that people don’t actually take that phrase literally, there’s just that certain notion inside our brain which still makes us want to drastically change for a fresh start to greet the year. And because the reform that we want to see in ourselves is often too (badly put) ambitious, we tend to lose the drive to maintain it as months pass.
I, too, am guilty about breaking resolutions. I keep wishing I have or I want to be this and that, but somehow fail to do so year after year. After a bit of contemplation, it dawned on me that none of it worked precisely because it didn’t match who I really am. I want to cut off sweets, but I have a sweet-tooth. I want to be mysterious, but I open up easily to people. See how contradicting that is?
Those examples were the shallow ones and can be easily compromised. But what if it deals with a much deeper resolution? As you may have read on my last post, 2016 molded me greatly. It was only then when I finally learned to love myself the way I am. Having said that, no compromise would be necessary in cases where I need to transform myself into someone I’m not. So for the first time, I won’t be wishing for a huge change this New Year. Instead, I want to stay the same; only better.
It would be dense of me (or anyone for that matter) if I say that I just want to stay the same; thinking that I have nothing to work on– that would be too conceited. I know deep down that I have a lot of negative attitudes I want to get rid of, which I think are perfect to address while the year has just started. To name some:
- Jealousy– this is probably the most toxic trait that I have. I don’t get envious of material things; it’s the achievement of others that really strike me. I get sad that I’m not there yet, I get anxious that I won’t be able to achieve anything, I get bitter that life has been unfair in general– all those negative feelings just because of jealousy. I need to learn to accept where I stand and do life at my own pace because my time will come and someday I’ll also get there. 2017 will be my stepping stone.
- Social Media Mindset– I’m honestly starting to think that the phrase “pics or it didn’t happen” caused this. If you come to think about it, you don’t have to prove anything to anyone, really. I read a nice tweet which goes: “In today’s world, people need to realize that just because you don’t see it online, doesn’t mean it’s not true.” For some reason, that resonated on me and is slowly teaching me to set my priorities. I’ve been lessening my time online once in a while, and it feels nice because I just have to enjoy the moment and not worry about ruining my feed/sending out a bad tweet/etc. Besides, won’t you appreciate it more when people are genuinely curious and ask you “What did you do this weekend?” instead of just saying “I saw that you went to Pampanga on Snapchat”.
I’m starting the year strong, and I hope I can end it strong, too. That’s why I’ll focus on those two for now. Baby steps, if you will. I want to make my year as productive as I can, so I don’t want to make too much plans that I can’t even fulfill.
So here’s to a New Year, Better Me.
(and to you, too, kind reader!)
(Check also: From Realization to Actualization)